


Not You? Not Anyone (The Only One I'll Ever Love)

by LilLayneeLoo



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Bruce Wayne Has Issues, Bruce Wayne Has Low Self Esteem, Bruce Wayne Needs a Hug, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Vulnerability, Established Relationship, Fluff, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I hope, Less Angsty Than Usual, M/M, Marriage Proposal, No Beta, No Injuries Tho That's a Start, Pillow Talk, Protective Clark Kent, Sort Of, attempt at fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:53:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28521960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilLayneeLoo/pseuds/LilLayneeLoo
Summary: Bruce feels insecure about his place in his relationship with Clark, particularly about whether or not he is worthy.Clark sets the record straight.
Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne
Comments: 10
Kudos: 194





	Not You? Not Anyone (The Only One I'll Ever Love)

**Author's Note:**

> I tried FLUFF again! 
> 
> I enjoyed writing this, and not gonna lie...this is totally inspired by Bieber's new song, Anyone. I'm not usually a fan of his, but I overheard my Mom listening to it and was like...hot damn that hits an emotional chord. So I played it over and over again for an hour while I wrote and this is what came of it. Some dialogue is clearly inspired by the song, so creds to it. Have a listen if you'd like, while you read it. Or nah, it's up to you.
> 
> Anyway. On with it.

Clark woke suddenly, the shifting of blankets beside him pulling him from his customarily light slumber. He knew something was amiss the moment he realized Bruce was lying on his back. 

His partner never actually slept that way. Sometimes he’d try to start the night flat like that, but he much preferred to curl up around a bundle of blankets or an extra pillow. Alfred had once confessed that this was something Bruce had done every night since the death of his parents. Clark had his own private theory that it was his subconscious way of hiding from the world that had hurt him so much, something he didn’t allow himself the luxury of any other time of day.

While Clark could acknowledge that Bruce’s current position meant he wasn’t upset or anxious about those particular emotions and memories, his obvious sleeplessness was undoubtedly a sign that something else was wrong. 

Wordlessly, Clark extended his hand under the blankets, quickly finding Bruce’s wrist and snaking down to rest his fingers snugly between Bruce’s.

He heard a small sigh from beside him and initially contemplated pulling away. Sometimes Bruce simply couldn’t bring himself to talk about certain things, and Clark had learned it was best to wait patiently. It was difficult for Clark, constantly wanting to unpack the emotions his partner was so reluctant to feel but simultaneously knowing the importance of their boundaries. 

He let out his own sigh, this one of relief, when Bruce whispered to him in the darkness.

“Are you awake?”

Clark slowly rolled the rest of the way over until he found himself face to face with the love of his life.

“I am, yeah,” he returned, smiling gently on the off chance that Bruce could actually see him. He was glad he did, because Bruce clicked on the small bedside lamp mere seconds later.

His eyes were dark and sullen, and Clark felt a pang of guilt. Clearly he hadn’t slept a wink, but Clark honestly couldn’t figure out what might have been bothering him based on the context alone.

It could be a minute detail of a case, or it could be an existential crisis. With Bruce, he never really knew, but he was always there nonetheless.

“Talk to me,” Clark said. He heard the huskiness of his own voice, and cleared his throat weakly. He drew himself up onto his elbows, keeping his hand intertwined with Bruce’s.

“I’ve been thinking.”

His voice was husky as well, almost hushed in how quiet it was. Barely more than a whisper. Clark gave his hand a gentle squeeze, trying to show his support. He hoped Bruce found it comforting, rather than patronizing.

He couldn’t really tell because Bruce didn’t really react, he just stared down at his stomach.

They passed several minutes in silence before finally Bruce threw the blankets off and got to his feet. He ran a hand through his hair as he walked to the bathroom, his boxers hanging low on his hips.

Clark fiddled with his pillow while he waited for his partner to return, shifting its position on the headboard so that he too was sitting up. He figured that way he’d be able to pay full attention to Bruce without the threat of sleep looming over his tired eyes.

It was another several minutes before Bruce came back, but he didn’t sit or lie down at all. He just stood next to the bed, his hands curling and uncurling anxiously at his sides. He turned his attention to Clark, who tried not to look expectant.

“I’ve been thinking,” Bruce repeated. “I just… I don’t think that...I don’t know if we should do this anymore, Clark.”

Clark’s heart leapt into his throat. He tried to swallow it down, but ended up making a sort of choking noise instead. Bruce looked away and walked toward the window.

“I just...Jesus, Clark...” he said. “I’ve been...I’ve been selfish...I’ve been greedy.”

Clark swallowed again, wishing desperately that he could say something. He was, however, too alarmed to make a sound.

Not that he really knew what to say anyway.

“I can’t…” Bruce tried. He was pacing now, seemingly struggling with finding the words almost as much as Clark was. “I just...we...you…”

For the third time, Clark swallowed, trying to dissipate the anxiety that was building in his chest.

  
“Bruce?” 

It was all he could give him, and he heard the crack in his own voice that had Bruce turning to look at him.

“Clark...I just…”

“Did I...do something wrong?” Clark asked quietly. “Because whatever I’ve done to make you feel this way, I’m incredibly sorry, Bruce.”

Bruce shook his head, running his hand through his hair and starting to pace again. Clark clicked his own lamp on, and crossed his legs, leaning forward and trying to process what was happening.

“You did nothing, Clark,” Bruce said, a hint of bitterness in his voice. “And maybe...maybe that’s the problem.”

Clark was thoroughly confused now.

“You’re not making any sense, Bruce.”

Bruce sighed again. For a few moments, the only thing either of them could hear was the fall of Bruce’s bare feet on the carpet. Clark listened to it, trying to figure out what Bruce was saying. _I did nothing...did he cheat on me? Does he need something that he can’t get from me?_

“I...you’re...Clark.”

Clark’s heart was pounding faster now. “I am Clark, yes, but I’m not following how that warrants us breaking up. Bruce, please...talk to me. Tell me what’s happened. I’m forgiving; I won’t pack up and leave at the first sign of trouble.”

“I’m trying,” Bruce said. “It’s just so hard to explain, and I’m almost certain you won’t understand.”

“Try me.”

A few more footsteps, then Bruce fell back onto the bed. He crossed his own legs, turning and facing Clark. He snatched up Clark’s hands, holding them both tightly and looking into his eyes.

“Clark, you are...God, you’re everything I’ve ever wanted,” he said, finally. “But how can I sleep here next to you, when....”

A pause.

“You have to promise me something, before I talk,” he finished. When Clark nodded, he said: “I’ve got a lot to say, and I want to say it without you interrupting me.”

Clark nodded again, and squeezed Bruce’s hands. He began to speak, slowly, almost carefully.

“How can I sleep here next to you, when there is an infinite universe around us full of people more worthy of your love?”

Clark opened his mouth but Bruce covered it with their hands before he said anything. He closed it again.

“Clark, you probably don’t realize how much you mean to the world. You are just...where do I even begin? You’re the most inspiring man this weary world has seen. You’re strong and fast, yes, but more importantly you’re benevolent, selfless, courageous, and reliable. You’re a symbol of truth; of hope. You’ve shown the world what it means to give altruistically. You don’t ask a single thing in return, even though you make sacrifices constantly for the betterment of humanity.”

He paused a moment, looking down at their hands.

“You’re the goddamn sun, you know that? God...I’ve never seen someone shine as brightly as you do. I’ve lived my whole life in darkness, Clark, and you’ve just...you’ve come in and you’ve given me far more light and love than I deserve. I’m not like you. I’m not nearly as gracious, as humble as you, and I just...it’s so incredibly selfish of me to assume that I deserve your love; to take you away from the world like I am.”

He met Clark’s gaze then.

“What if...what if you lose some of that light because of me? I have demons, Clark, and you’ve seen some of them but not all. What if one day it’s too much?”

Clark bit back the urge to interrupt his partner.

“Every time I go to sleep, I’m afraid that I’ll wake up the next morning and find that you’re gone. That you’ve decided that I have too many ghosts and you’ll just--”

“Bruce, stop,” Clark said, knowing he was going back on his promise but beyond the point of caring. His facial features softened as he took in Bruce’s vulnerability, trying to work out how he might effectively address Bruce’s newfound anxiety. Clark’s heart was still racing, but it felt a little lighter knowing this was something they could talk through. “Stop, right this second.”

Bruce’s mouth closed this time.

“You, Bruce...you are the only person that I have ever truly loved; that I _will ever truly love_. I know that you see all of this in me, and sometimes...sometimes I can’t believe that all those wonderful, hopeful, inspiring things are what Superman has become symbolic of...but I’m not...Bruce I’m very far from perfect. I’ve hurt people, both accidentally and deliberately. I’ve lost control. I’ve sought power and popularity, and I know that sometimes I focus on the wrong things…”

He swallowed.

“So, Rao. Please don’t _ever_ sit in front of me and tell me that _you don’t deserve me_ . I am not something you’ve earned, or that someone else will ever _earn more than you_. I’m not a damn medal, and I don’t say that because I’m angry that you’ve limited me to that, because that’s not it at all. I’m offended that you’d limit _yourself_ to that. Someone who’s won something, instead of someone who is worthy of not just my affection, but of _all of the love in the universe_.”

Bruce’s eyes filled in a rare display of emotion. Clark’s eyes were watering too, and he chuckled lightly through it.

“Bruce...my Bruce...I’ve accomplished a lot in my life, I’ll admit that. But nothing... _nothing_ I have ever done has ever been even remotely as fulfilling as the life that I have found and built with you. My Pulitzers...the cape...the league...to think that you’d even consider that I might put any of those things before you if I had to choose…”

“I am not the only shining symbol in this room, Bruce, despite what you seem to have convinced yourself. I may be the sun to you, but you are the moon and all of the stars to me, and they’re as bright and beautiful as anything. You are fiercely kind; the most compassionate and generous man I have ever met in my life. I’ve admired you from the very first second I laid eyes on you, both as Batman and as Bruce. You’ve faced so much... but the same tragedies and trials that drive others to barbarity and criminality drive you to _help others_. To _give yourself and your assets to others._ ”

Clark let go of one of Bruce’s hands, pressing his palm flat against the underside of Bruce’s left cheek. He swiped at a few stray tears with his thumb and smiled tenderly.

“Bruce Wayne, you are the least selfish person to have ever walked the streets of this decrepit city that, honestly, doesn’t deserve you. You amaze me every day. You make me the best version of myself that I can be. _You_ inspire _me_ . So whatever part of you has led you to believe that this thing we have is one-sided, shut it off, tune it out. You’ve had my heart just as much as I’ve had yours from the _very beginning_ , and there is literally _nothing_ … _not a single damn thing_ that will ever make me take it back from you.”

Bruce laid his hand over top of Clark’s and closed his eyes, leaning into his touch and exhaling slowly through his nose. Clark stared at him, marveling in the way his lashes fluttered slightly to allow his tears to escape. It broke his heart while simultaneously flooding him with a wave of pure adoration.

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it a million times. I don’t want a single one of the countless people that inhabit this universe, Bruce. I am sitting next to _you_ , in this moment now, my hands on _your_ face, my eyes looking into _yours_ because I have chosen _you_ to love. I _want_ to be with you; it’s the easiest and best thing that I’ve ever done. I love _you_ , not anyone else now, not anyone else ever. I want _you_ , and if I can’t have you, I don’t want _anyone_. You are the only person for me.”

Bruce opened his eyes then, meeting Clark’s gaze.

“So tell me now, Bruce,” he continued. “Tell me right now that this _isn’t over_ between us, because I don’t want to give it up. I would rather die than give it up.”

Bruce said nothing initially, just surged forward and collapsed into Clark’s arms. They laid together for several minutes before Bruce got his bearings again and pulled back. 

“I love you more than I ever thought was possible.”

Clark pressed their foreheads together.

“And I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you that I feel the same.”

“The rest of your life?” Bruce asked. Their lips were almost touching. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Clark replied. “And if after all of that, you still don’t believe me, marry me.”

Bruce smiled into him, clutching at Clark’s bare chest and holding back a sob. Clark’s heart soared when he finally answered.

“I believe you, but if you’ll have me, I’ll marry you anyway.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for stopping by. I sincerely hope this was enjoyable, and as always, would love love love to hear from you!
> 
> Until next time!
> 
> -Laynee


End file.
